


January Blues (Dreamnap)

by Sammie_Innit



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dom Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Inspired by drivers license - Olivia Rodrigo (Song), M/M, No Smut, Rejection, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Songfic, Twitter, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29384559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammie_Innit/pseuds/Sammie_Innit
Summary: “I, um, I- I don’t really know how to say this.” Sapnap began, Dream’s eyes flicked between Sapnap’s in an attempt to try and read his thoughts. “I like you as, um, more than a friend..”“Oh.” Dream’s voice fell an octave, and Sapnap’s heart dropped. He shouldn’t have done this. Why did he do this? Is this the end? Will he please fucking say something. Sapnap felt as if he was going to cry.The silence lingered for a minute or two before Dream spoke again. “Thats, um, not what I expected you to say.” Dream looked at his feet, shifting between them. God, Dream wouldn’t even look at him.orSapnap gets rejected.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 105





	1. Rejected

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song 'Drivers License' by Olivia Rodrigo !! <3

Today was the day, right? He couldn’t believe that George had actually talked him into finally doing this, he had liked Dream for what, 3 or so years now. George somehow assured him that Dream felt the same way. But as he paced in his room, the room in the home that he and Dream had rented, he was so worried that it would end the friendship.

The friendship that he had relied on for years, the friendship that kept him together. The friendship that made him safe, and not alone. But he couldn’t keep hiding it, everytime Dream spoke and he got butterflies, everytime Dream asked if he wanted to get takeout and they would argue about what food they would get.

He couldn’t take just being friends anymore, but what if this ended everything? What if he wouldn’t be able to live here? What if he couldn’t stream with him? Call with him? Dm with him?

How would he explain to fans that he was the reason his friendship ended? That the reason for it was because he couldn’t keep his feelings hidden anymore? All he wanted was to not be alone, and this decision could make all the security of being surrounded by people go away.

“Sap?” Dream’s voice came from behind his door as he knocked on it. “Why are you pacing? I can hear you from downstairs.” He wheezed. His voice made him feel intoxicated, it made him feel completely fulfilled. His voice made him want to kiss him while on a date to the fair. Or to hold hands at Vidcon. The voice that made him want to snuggle him wearing an oversized hoodie.

“Uh yeah? I’m fine.” Sapnap said nervously. “Can you come in?” Sapnap asked, his voice hesitant. Dream opened the door.. Fuck. He was so much taller than him, in his stupid green hoodie that fucked with his head.

“What’s up?” His hand lingered on the doorframe as he stood in the doorway. Sapnap rubbed the back of his head, not exactly knowing where to start. The freezing temperatures of the house made his anxiety edge on. It was now or never.

“I need to, uh, tell you something.” Sapnap gulped, fiddling with his hands. He couldn’t believe he was going to do this.

“Anything.” Dream said, his voice was calm and relieving, comforting even. Dream could sense his friends nervousness, in all the time he knew Sapnap he was never one to get this nervous. Especially around him.

“I, um, I- I don’t really know how to say this.” Sapnap began, Dream’s eyes flicked between Sapnap’s in an attempt to try and read his thoughts. “I like you as, um, more than a friend..” 

“Oh.” Dream’s voice fell an octave, and Sapnap’s heart dropped. He shouldn’t have done this. Why did he do this? Is this the end? Will he please fucking say something. Sapnap felt as if he was going to cry.

The silence lingered for a minute or two before Dream spoke again. “Thats, um, not what I expected you to say.” Dream looked at his feet, shifting between them. God, Dream wouldn’t even look at him.

“I, uh, I think I should stay the night at a hotel, umm, for a bit.” Dream coughed rushing to leave Sapnap’s room.

“No I’ll go.” Sapnap said, his voice flatlined, he truly didn’t know what to do. He had fucked up. Dream nodded and hurriedly left him alone in his room.

As soon as his door closed he fell to the floor, his hand clasped over his mouth and tears began to fall. His black hair fell into his face. He took a deep breath to try and compose himself but it didn’t work. He picked himself up and pulled out his suitcase. Everything in it was scattered or put away.. He wasn’t expecting to leave.

He packed some clothes and his computer in case he actually felt like streaming, he doubted that he would. He packed enough stuff for a week away. He couldn’t believe that he had to do this. He couldn’t believe that he did this.

He quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve and walked out of his room. He got to the front door when he heard footsteps behind him.

“Sapnap.” Dream said, his voice quivered, almost like he had to build up courage just to say his name.

“Dream.” Sapnap replied, his voice was more sad.. Forlorn? Like he didn’t know if he could say his name.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Dream forced himself to chuckle, it wasn’t a chuckle. It shouldn’t be considered one, it was so forced he didn’t even sound like himself.

Sapnap nodded. He opened the front door and left the house. The door locked behind him and for some reason that gesture made his heart shatter. Like he was locked out of his former life, the separation. He walked down the path to his car. He put the keys in the ignition and it made that stupid fucking noise.

He slammed his hands on the steering wheel, tears fell again. He looked at the house, all the windows had no lights shining out except one. Dream’s room. He could see his former friend? Friend? His. His silhouette in the window. He was running his hands through his hair before he hurriedly grabbed his phone.

Sapnap’s phone buzzed and he realized it was Dream’s spotify that tweeted. He would have laughed but he didn’t feel like he could.

dream’s spotify  
@.Dreamsspotify

Feel Something - Bea Miller  
10:32 PM est

The replies were filled with people saying “man’s going thru something” and “BANGER !!”

They had no idea. Sapnap hooked up his Spotify to his car. He didn’t really know what to put on but then he remembered a song Dream recommended to him once.

sapnify  
@.spotifysapnap

Drivers License - Olivia Rodrigo  
10:32 PM est

The replies were filled with, “That can’t be a coincidence” and “Are they okay???” And that's when the TL began to fill with theories and wondering what was going on.

Sapnap finally pulled out of the driveway.

“Today I drove through the suburbs, because how could I ever love someone else.”

Tears filled his eyes and the stop lights blurred, no cars were on the road. 

“Siri, text George.” Sapnap said, his phone lit up.

“What would you like to text George?” Siri’s voice came from his phone.

“It went really fucking wrong I don’t know what to do, he told me to stay at a hotel for a few days. Can you stream or something to get the fans minds off our Spotify accounts?” Sapnap’s voice cracked and he shivered from the cold.

He remembered when him and Dream drove down this street for the first time, only last month.

\--

“Damn Dream! Didn’t know you were rich!” Sapnap laughed, Dream didn’t stop smiling since he met up with Sapnap.

“I’m not even rich!” Dream wheezed, Sapnap shook his head. The car was filled with rich colors and happy voices.

“We’ll be friends forever, right? No matter what?” Sapnap asked, lightly tapping his finger on the steering wheel.

“Of course!”

\---

“Cause you said forever but now I drive alone on pasture street.”

Sapnap couldn’t believe that this stupid ass song could actually tell him more about what he was feeling than his own thoughts. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t have a hotel. So he just drove around aimlessly. Almost hoping to get lost, anything to make the feeling of loss go away.

The feeling of losing someone who’s still alive. And it was all his fault that he lost him, he shouldn’t have said anything. He should have moved on and dated someone else. Now he made it weird and complicated and probably ruined everything.

Why did he even think that Dream liked him back?! He probably hates him now. Why did he trust George?! He knew it wasn’t George’s fault but.. If it wasn’t for George he would have never done it in the first place!

The hue of the lights bounced off the night sky, he hadn’t been paying attention to the road and to be fair he had probably run a few red lights. But he didn’t recognize where he was so that was a good sign.

“Hey siri, where is the nearest hotel?”

“The nearest hotel is 12 miles away. Would you like directions to the.. Sparks Inn Hotel?” Siri asked, her voice breaking apart, probably from lack of service.

“Yes.” Sapnap really had got himself into the middle of nowhere. His phone binged.

GeorgeNotFound went live!!

Of course he did, because no matter what, George would always be there for him.

He wondered what Dream was doing, was he crying too? Or did he not care at all? He probably didn’t care, why would he?

\--

Dream paced back and forth.

“I just wanna feel something, I just wanna feel”

Dream shoved all the clutter from his desk onto the floor, tears falling out of his eyes as his face heated up. He quickly went onto his computer and turned on George’s stream. He had a concerned look on his face as he tried to play Minecraft normally.

There was no question that Dream and Sapnap had both texted him. That's when a donation came in.

“Hey George! Are Dream and Sapnap okay? Their Spotifys were a little concerning.” The donation voice read. George swallowed quickly.

“Uh yeah, I’m sure they're fine.” George said. The chat was filled with “You don’t know if they’re okay??” and “Have you heard anything???”

\--

Sapnap pulled up to the hotel, it wasn’t bad for a hotel in the middle of nowhere. He checked in and through his suitcase on the floor once he got to his room.

He quickly hooked up his computer. This is self destructive, he thought. He knew that. But if this was the only way to feel better. 

Sapnap went live!!

Within minutes he had 90K viewers and of course Dream was watching. Everyone noticed the red eyes, the quivering lips, and shaking hands.

He ignored all the dono’s and chat asking if he was okay. He was silent, trying to hold himself together as he did a speedrun. Somehow none of the viewers got bored and just stayed there. It was crazy to him that 90K people would just watch him play Minecraft with no commentary.

Then Dream stopped watching and Sapnap broke down. He knew he was live so he should stop crying but he couldn’t. The chat was filled with hearts and people asking what was wrong. 

“I fucked up guys.” Sapnap croaked out. He buried his head in his hands unable to stop himself from crying.

\--

One week later

It still hurt him, hurt that Dream hasn’t messaged him. He had been active on twitter, streaming. He sounded so happy live. Everyone on twitter was worried because the only thing they heard from Sapnap since he broke down on stream was his Spotify telling them that he was still looping Driver’s License.

Dream ignored all the questions about him, it seemed as if to him, Sapnap didn’t exist.

Sapnap still loved him, well, it had been a few days since he realized that it wasn’t just a crush and that he really was in love with Dream. He still loved him. Why? He didn’t know. He hadn’t talked to George either. He had just been laying in his hotel room, listening to that damn song. That’s basically what the days have been.

This day wasn’t like any others. Sapnap laying in bed, still listening to the song as he tried to listen to Dream’s voice and not cry. That’s when a dono came in.

“How is Sapnap?” The dono said, so simple. 

“I’m not sure he, um, he left. We aren’t living together anymore. I’ve texted him but he hasn’t replied.” Dream said, his tone edging on hatred. It broke him. Dream knew that he asked Sapnap to move out, Dream knew he didn’t text Sapnap. Just pure lies.

“Why did he leave?” Another dono came in.

“Oh, um, he told me something then walked out.” Dream said, clearly not focusing on speedrunning anymore.

“He said something that um, changes things. And he didn’t walk out. I told him to leave. He hasn’t responded to me because I haven’t texted him. If he is watching this, then um, I hope he knows that I still care about him.” He immediately regained focus on speedrunning even though chat exploded, so did twitter.

Sapnap stared at the stream blankly, trying to register what he just said. What the fuck?! What the fuck did he just say?! I still care about you? I still care about you?! 

Sapnap grabbed his phone and drafted a tweet.

Sapnap  
@.sapnap

That’s fucking bullshit and you know it

In minutes he was getting dms and twitter notifications. He watched as Dream stopped speedrunning and read the tweet.

“Uh, Sapnap I think we should handle this privately-” Dream was cut off by Sapnap’s second tweet.

Sapnap  
@.sapnap

Privately?? Your the fucking one that made me breakdown on stream,  
dont fake this shit

“I- um, yeah I guess I did, look I just wasn’t expecting you to.. Say that.” Dream’s voice fell. Sapnap didn’t even care anymore, he just wanted to hear some confirmation from Dream. Any satisfaction.

Sapnap  
@.sapnap

What happened to forever

Dream was stunned into silence. He got a twitter dm from Dream, the first in a week. “Don’t do this”

Sapnap  
@.sapnap

That’s all you have to say?? Really? “Don’t do this”  
don’t do what? Don’t tell them what really fucking happened

“Please stop, Sapnap, I know I hurt you but can we not talk about this on twitter while I’m live?” Sapnap knew it wasn’t fair to do this to him, but why should he stop? No answers. Radio silence. From his best friend.

Sapnap  
@.sapnap

It’s not my fault I fell in love with you

15.4K Retweets . 12.8K Quote Tweets . 102K Likes

And with that Dream abruptly ended. Sapnap chuckled to himself, already regretting it. But why did it matter? If he couldn’t have Dream, even as a friend, then what was the fucking point.

As the sunset out of his window, he wondered what would happen now. Alone. The only thing he never wanted.


	2. Perhaps Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dream.” Sapnap turned away from him, looking at himself in the mirror instead.
> 
> “Look- I know you hate me-” Dream started before Sapnap cut him off.
> 
> “That's an understatement.” He chuckled.
> 
> or 
> 
> Dream goes back to Sapnap but Sapnap runs away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also inspired by 'Drivers License' by Olivia Rodrigo !!!

March. Two months after said fallout. Sapnap sat in a bathroom. Where was he? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that between the 12 bars he ended up in a random bathroom where they were playing Driver's License.

It brought back memories. He didn’t know it, but he was in a Subway bathroom. He had gone to the place where he and Dream came most, which was the subway a little bit away from Dream’s house.

And Dream had shown up, gotten ready to order, asked to use the bathroom and the cashier said that a crying black haired boy kept muttering something about someone named Dream and locked himself in. Dream obviously knew what happened

Sapnap heard a knock at the bathroom door. He quickly wiped his face, god why did this song have to make him so emotional?

“Come in!” He yelled hurriedly. A tall blonde guy walked in, easily recognizable.

“Dream.” Sapnap turned away from him, looking at himself in the mirror instead.

“Look- I know you hate me-” Dream started before Sapnap cut him off.

“That's an understatement.” He chuckled.

“Well if you’re going to be like that, I hate you too.” Dream said coldly.

“I know you hate me.” Sapnap said, getting up to leave.

“Uh wait.” Dream said to him, Sapnap turned around. “There’s a party tonight, uh, I think you should go.”

“I party by myself Dream, with over the counter medication and vodka.” He laughed, opening the bathroom door.

“You can’t take over the counter medication with vodka! You can die! Dream said, surprised.

He closed the door, turned around, and rolled his eyes. “That’s the whole point.” And he was out the bathroom door.

“I still fucking love you babe..”

Dream slammed his fists into the stall door, a tear sliding down his face. He had to try again.

He ran out of the bathroom.

“Where would Sap go?” He thought. Outside. Dream ran out the front door. The raven haired man leaned against the wall, scarf covering half his face.

“Why don’t you just leave me alone, Dream? Really, you fucked with my emotions enough I understand why, but you need to get a grip. We are done. No friendship, no relationship. You made sure of that when for a week you never sent me one fucking text.” Sapnap said, he kept a calm tone, filled with repressed anger.

“Sap- maybe we can try again-” Dream was again cut off.

“With what?! A friendship?! Clearly that didn’t fucking work out-”

“It worked for what 6-7 years! It clearly worked!”

“Yeah and for three of them I was crying every night because I was so fucking in love with you! But you obviously couldn’t see it and I’m not going through the turmoil that is being friends with Dream!” Sapnap started crying midway through. He started to walk away but Dream grabbed his arm.

“Let go of me.” He said flatly.

“You shouldn’t drive in the rain like this it- you could get in a wreck-” Dream said concerned.

“Oh! So you don’t trust me now?” He shook his arm from Dream’s grip. “I can drive just fine.”

“Sap-” But Sapnap had gotten in his car and was pulling away. For some reason he could still hear that fucking song.

“Cause you said forever now I drive alone pasture street.”

Sapnap drove through the road, cars flying past. The road was a blur from the tears in his eyes.

“What the fuck is wrong with him? Confronting me like that?! What the hell did he think would happen?” He muttered. “Get the fuck out of the way.” He said angrily, honking his car horn.

It all happened in a flash, the honking of horns, the beeping. The moment when Sapnap tried to pull in front of the car. The crushing feeling when his car flipped twice. And the sinking feeling when he was squished in glass and realized he was still alive.

The road which was full of red lights and yelling began to blur and he slowly lost consciousness.

\---

Dream leaned against the side of the building. He opened his phone and looked at Twitter out of boredom, in need of a distraction.

#SAPNAP was trending with a news headline, Dream chuckled, thinking of all the trouble he could have gotten into. He clicked on the news headline.

“Youtube sensation, known as Sapnap, suffers life-threatening injuries in car wreck.”

Dream’s face fell as he quickly scrolled through the article.

“Twenty minutes ago, youtuber, Sapnap, known for videos such as; “It’s raining cats and dogs” and “Minecraft, but a raid starts every minute,” was involved in a three car collison. We are still receiving new updates but it was believed to be caused by alcoholic substances.”

He was drunk? Dream slid down the wall of the building, tears streaming down his face.

“The media celebrity is reported to have severe injuries and we encourage anyone with information on the subject to call ...-...-.... or email us.”

Dream pocketed his phone and got in his car. Quickly driving to the nearest hospital.

He ran through the doors, he looked like he was a character out of some hospital soap opera. 

“Ma’am, is Nick here?” Dream asked the secretary quickly. “He would he involved in a car wreck-”

“Yeah, I can’t give any information unless you’re family. Who are you?” She asked.

“Oh uh, Nick’s bro- boyfriend, Clay.” He said looking around quickly, making sure he wasn’t miraculously in the waiting room.

“You do now that we can’t give any information to you unless you two are married.” She said.

“Look we’ve known each other for 7 years and have been dating for 3 please I need to know if he’s okay! His mom is out of state and can’t fly here.” Dream begged, she sighed.

“Tell no one that I gave you this information okay kid?” She asked, typing on her computer.

“Yes ma’am.” He said anxiously.

“Nick was admitted twenty minutes ago and is in surgery. He has a few broken ribs, a laceration to the spinal cord, and quite a few chemical burns. Trust me kid, I’ve seen worse. He’ll be okay, now go sit down, get a cup of coffee, it’ll be a long night.” She said calmly, he sat down in one of the scratchy blue chairs.

The bright lights shining down on him, pure white everywhere he looked. He opened Twitter.

dream  
@.dreamwastaken

I’m at the hospital right now. All I know is that he’s okay,  
don’t worry guys, please get some rest <3

He knew it would shock people that he was at the hospital, since their fallout two months ago they only communicated through others. But it was Sapnap, no matter how many fights, no matter how ever much shit, Dream would always be there.

“You’re at the hospital?” George dmed him.

“Yeah, r u coming?” Dream responded.

“Omw” George replied. Soon George was with him in the waiting room, then about an hour later press started filling up the front of the hospital. He supposed that tragedy sparked the media.

And finally, the secretary walked over. “Clay? You can see him now, in room 306.” She smiled, returning to her desk.

Dream ran through the halls. Sap was okay. He searched for the room. Sap was safe. He found the room. Sap was alive. And somehow through those six grueling hours of waiting, Dream realized he was waiting for something else as well, both realization and opportunity.

He opened the room door, wires were connected to the raven haired boy, who was more out of it than he was hours ago.

“Dreamy? What lie did you pull to get yourself in?” He giggled, clearly too out of it to remember why he should be mad at him.

“You know I care about you, right Sap?” Dream asked, sitting in the chair next to his bed.

“Mhm, you love me.” Sapnap said, trying to boop him on the nose.

“I know you’re too out of it to know why you’re mad-”

“Oh I know why I’m mad. I just don’t want to be right now, you’re here.” Sapnap smiled widely, the goofy kind of smile.

“Will you remember this when you wake up?” Dream asked him.

“Probably.” He said.

“Then I’m going to do this.”

“Do wh-” He was cut off by Dream’s sweet lips on his, the moment he had been waiting for. The moment he had wanted for three years. The moment Dream had just realized he wanted. The moment that they realized they would get what they wanted. Dream pulled away.

“Am I dreaming?” Sapnap giggled before he fell into a drug induced sleep. Dream laughed quietly, kissed him on the head, and left the room.

But then he thought of something. He went back in, and took a photo of Sapnap. He wanted to get a photo of him kissing his cheek but that would require a face reveal and Sapnap would kill him for doing that while he was asleep.

Dream  
@.Dream

Who knew they let boyfriends in hospital rooms

Attached with the photo of Sapnap. Then he powered off his phone and left the room.

He knew chaos would ensue, that was the whole point. He smirked and returned to the waiting room.


End file.
